I thought about you last night. I normally don't allow myself to think about you. But I did. And when I do I begin to miss you. And missing you makes me sad. I haven't been sad over you in quite awhile but I couldn't help it last night. I was laying in bed looking up at the ceiling and I started thinking about how you use to lay with me. How I could lay on you chest for hours. We didn't have to talk or do anything. We could just lay there and things were perfect. I thought about how you would brush your fingers through my hair and it would make my face turn red and give me butterfly's. I thought about how I could be right next to you and it just wasn't close enough. I thought about when you would kiss me on the forehead to break me out of the zone I was in. And how you would smile and me and kiss me again...
Little things like that should not be on my mind anymore. I shouldn't still be holding on to those moments. But I am. I don't know the reason and I'm not sure I want to. But the thoughts are there and I let them escape for a brief second last night. It felt good to remember how you use to be, being that I don't have a clue who you are anymore. But it also hurt because I know you are no longer that person and you no longer think of me the way I think of you... I wish it didn't have to be just thoughts. But that's the way things are and will always be...
